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The Funniest Joke in the World

"The Funniest Joke in the World" is a Monty Python comedy sketch. The premise of the sketch is that the joke is so funny that anyone who reads or hears it promptly dies from laughter. Ernest Scribbler, a British "writer of jokes", writes the joke on a piece of paper only to die laughing, his mother immediately dies laughing after reading it, as do the first constables on the scene. The joke is contained and deployed against Germany during World War II; the sketch appeared in the first episode of the television show Monty Python's Flying Circus, first shown on 5 October 1969. It appeared in altered forms in several Python works; the German translation of the joke in the sketch is made of various meaningless, German-sounding nonce words, so it does not have an English translation. Google Translate includes an easter egg about the sketch if one tries to translate the German script into English, which says ""; the sketch is framed in a documentary style and opens with Ernest Scribbler, a British "writer of jokes", creating and writing the funniest joke in the world on a piece of paper only to die laughing.

His mother finds the joke, thinks it is a suicide note, reads it and immediately dies laughing. Aware of the deadly nature of the joke, a brave Scotland Yard inspector attempts to retrieve the joke, aided by the playing of sombre music on gramophone records and the chanting of laments by fellow policemen to create a depressing atmosphere; the inspector leaves the house with the joke in hand, but dies from laughter. The British Army are soon eager to determine "the military potential of the Killer Joke", they test the joke on a rifleman, who falls dead on the range. After confirming its “devastating effectiveness at a range of up to 50 yards”, they translate it into German, with each translator working on only one word of the joke for their own safety; the German "translation" is used for the first time on 8 July 1944 in the Ardennes, causing German soldiers to fall down dead from laughter: Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! The German version is described as being "over 60,000 times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke".

The joke is used in open warfare, with Tommies running through an open field amid artillery fire shouting the joke at the Germans, who die laughing in response. Afterward, a German field hospital is shown with bandaged German soldiers on stretchers, convulsing with laughter having heard some parts of the joke. In a subsequent scene, a British officer from the Joke Brigade has been taken prisoner and is being interrogated by Gestapo officers; the British officer uses the joke to escape as his German captors die laughing, with one German officer insisting the joke isn't funny before cracking up and uttering a Woody Woodpecker-style laugh before expiring. The Germans attempt counter-jokes, but each attempt is found unsuccessful, with unamused Gestapo officers executing the hapless scientists as a consequence. For example, a film is shown of Adolf Hitler saying "My dog has no nose" a German soldier asking "How does he smell?", with Hitler replying "Awful!" Their best "V-joke" is attempted on a radio broadcast to British households: "Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der Straße, und von vas assaulted...peanut.

Ohohohoho!" Although the joke is followed triumphantly by the German anthem Deutschland über alles, the attack is ineffective. The British joke is said to have been laid to rest when "Peace broke out" at the end of the war, countries agree to a Joke Warfare ban at the Geneva Convention. In 1950, the last copy of the joke is sealed under a monument in the Berkshire countryside, bearing the inscription "To the Unknown Joke". Thus, the English version of the joke is never revealed to the audience; the footage of Adolf Hitler is taken from Leni Riefenstahl's film Triumph of the Will. The section where Konstantin Hierl presents the Reichsarbeitsdienst to Hitler is the source of the speech used for the joke; the first clip shows Hitler saying Insbesondere keiner mehr in Deutschland leben wird... subtitled "My dog has no nose". The crowd saying: "How does he smell?" is from a scene just before Hitler's speech. The punchline of the joke "Awful" is the next shot; the original words are eure Schule, from " your school".

A fan of Monty Python growing up, Jim Carrey recalled the effect on him of Ernest Scribbler laughing himself to death in the sketch. The sketch was remade in a shorter version for the film And Now for Something Completely Different, it is available on the CD-ROM video game version of the film Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. If the German version of the joke is entered into Google Translate, instead of an English translation the program returns “”. Death from laughter Translate the funniest joke in the world on Google Translate

Massimo Bonini

Massimo Bonini is a Sammarinese former footballer and coach, who played as a midfielder for Italian sides Bellaria Igea Marina, Forlì, Cesena and Bologna. He won several titles during his time with Juventus, where his work-rate enabled him to form a notable midfield partnership with French playmaker Michel Platini. At international level, he represented San Marino. For its 50th anniversary in 2004, UEFA asked each of its 52 member associations to nominate one player as the single most outstanding player of the period 1954–2003, Bonini was chosen as the Golden Player of San Marino by the San Marino Football Federation in November 2003. Bonini began his career at Juvenes Dogana in 1973 but failed to make a league appearance during his 4 years at the club. After leaving Juvenes Dogana in 1977, he moved on to join Bellaria, goin on to make 33 appearance scoring 1 goal. After leaving Bellaria in 1978, he moved on to join Forli, going on to make 23 appearances, scoring 1 goal. After leaving Forli in 1979, he moved to Cesena.

After leaving Cesena in 1981, Bonini played for Juventus between 1981 and 1988, in which he played 296 matches and scored 6 goals. He won 3 Scudetti, 1 Italian Cup, 1 European Cup, 1 Cup Winners' Cup, 1 European Super Cup and 1 Intercontinental Cup, he is the only Sammarinese footballer to have won an official international title. For his performances, he was awarded the Bravo Award in 1983, as the best under-23 player in European Competitions. After leaving Juventus in 1988, he moved to Bologna going on to make 112 appearances and scoring 5 goals. Bonini retired in 1993. Since the San Marino Football Federation was not recognised by the Union of European Football Associations until 1990, players from San Marino were assimilated to Italian players. For this reason, Bonini was entitled to play for the Italian Football Federation and played for the Italian Under-21 football team. Since he always refused to give up the citizenship of San Marino, he had to wait until 1990 in order to play for San Marino's first team, winning 19 full caps since then.

He played his first match for San Marino against Switzerland on 14 November 1990. After his retirement, Bonini briefly served as the head coach of the San Marino national football team, from 2 June 1996 to September 10, 1997. Bonini was a hardworking and versatile box-to-box midfielder, deployed as a central midfielder or as a defensive midfielder during his time at Juventus. Although this position did not provide him with the freedom to contribute offensively or creatively that he had possessed in his early career, he excelled in his new role as a ball winner, at breaking down opposition plays, due to his tactical intelligence, work-rate and positional sense, supporting his more creative teammates defensively, such as Michel Platini, alongside Marco Tardelli, he was known in particular for his pace and stamina, which earned him the nickname "Platini's lungs", due to his successful partnership in midfield with the Frenchman. Juventus Serie A: 1981–82, 1983–84, 1985–86 Coppa Italia: 1982–83 European Cup: 1984–85 European Cup Winners' Cup: 1983–84 European Super Cup: 1984 Intercontinental Cup: 1985 Bravo Award: 1983 UEFA Jubilee Awards - Golden Player of San Marino: 2004 UEFA.com's article on San Marino's Golden Player

2018 FINA Men's Water Polo World Cup

The 16th edition of the Men's FINA Water Polo World Cup were be held in Berlin, Germany from September 11 to September 16, 2018. Like the final tournament of the 2007 FINA Men's Water Polo World League all matches were contested in the Europasportpark swimming pool. 8 teams qualified for the 2018 FINA World Cup. They were split into two groups of 4 teams. After playing a Round-robin every team advanced to the quarterfinals; the best ranked team of Group A played against the fourth ranked team of Group B, the second ranked team of Group A against the third ranked team of Group B the third ranked team of Group A against the second ranked team of Group B and the fourth ranked team of Group A against the best ranked team of Group B. The winners of those quarterfinals advanced to the Semis and played out the champion while the losers of the quarterfinals competed in placement matches. All times are local. Source: FINA - Leading Scorers Best Player Aaron Younger Best Goalscorer Gavril Subotić Best Goalkeeper Joel Dennerley FINA Official site FINA History FINA - Leading Scorers FINA - Goalkeeper Statistics FINA - Overall Team Statistics

Lotus Tower

Lotus Tower referred to as Colombo Lotus Tower, is a tower of 356 m, located in Colombo, Sri Lanka. It reflects the symbolic landmark of Sri Lanka; as of 16 September 2019, the tower is the tallest self-supported structure in South Asia. It is the second tallest structure in South Asia after the guy-wire-supported INS Kattabomman in India; the tower is the 11th tallest completed tower in Asia and it is the 19th tallest tower in the world. It was first proposed to be built in the suburb of Peliyagoda but the Government of Sri Lanka decided to shift the location; the lotus-shaped tower will be used for communication and other leisure facilities, with construction costing $104.3 million, funded by EXIM Bank of People's Republic of China. It is visible throughout Colombo, its suburbs and most major highways radiating from and around the city; the tower was opened to the public on the 16 September 2019 by President Maithripala Sirisena, seven years after the project commenced. After an initial decision to construct the tower within the confines of a suburb of the country's economic capital city of Colombo, Sri Lanka's government announced their plans to shift the location to the heart of the city.

The tower's new location is on the waterfront of the Beira Lake. With the witness of the President of Telecommunications Regulatory Commission of Sri Lanka, the Secretary of the Sri Lanka Foreign Ministry, the Presidents of China National Electronics Importers and Exporters Corporation and Aerospace Long March International Trade Co. Ltd signed the contract with the Director-General of TRCSL, Anusha Palpita, for the project on 3 January 2012; the project commenced during the tenure of former President Mahinda Rajapakse and the construction began on 20 January 2012 following a foundation stone-laying ceremony. The site is located on the waterfront of Beira Lake and alongside a part of the D. R. Wijewardene Mawatha. In December 2014, the tower's construction crossed the 125 m milestone and as of July 2015, the tower had reached 255 m; the design of this building is inspired by the Lotus flower. The lotus symbolizes purity within Sri Lankan culture and is said to symbolize the country's flourishing development.

The tower base is inspired by the lotus throne and will be formed by two inverted trapezoidal. The tower's color is planned to alternate between pink and light yellow by smooth transition- an effect achieved by coating the glass; the tower is 350 m tall and covers 30,600 m2 of floor area. Lotus Tower's main revenue sources will be antenna leasing, it will function as a radio and television broadcasting antenna ISDB-T and proposed DVB-T2 support structure for 50 television services, 35 FM Radio Stations and 20 telecommunication service providers, will house a variety of tourist attractions. The tower has four entrances, with two being used as VIP entrances. A telecommunications museum and restaurant are located on the ground floor; the tower podium consists of 6 floors. The first floor of the podium will accommodate two exhibition halls; the second floor will be utilised for several conference halls with seating space in excess of 500 people. Restaurants and food courts will be situated on the third floor.

A 1000-seat auditorium will be located on the fourth floor, which will be used as a ballroom. The fifth floor will include luxury hotel rooms, large ballrooms, the seventh floor will host an observation gallery; the landscaping is planned in the form of a large water park. The Colombo Monorail, a proposed monorail system in Colombo, the BRT system were to converge at a common'multi-modal hub' located in close proximity to the Lotus Tower, making the tower a major city center; the Monorail was canceled in 2016, instead, a light rail will be constructed in Colombo. During the opening ceremony, held on 16 September 2019, incumbent President Maithripala Sirisena at a ceremonial speech mentioned and claimed an allegation on a scam regarding an advance of 2 billion rupees, given to an approved company ALIT in 2012 by the government, was revealed in 2016 that such a company did not exist; however this was proven to be false as ALIT was in fact the acronym of the Chinese state-owned Aerospace Long-March International Trade Co.

ALIT denied receiving the payment claiming that the entire amount was paid to the China National Electronics Import & Export Corporation as had ALIT left the project. It noted that the TRC paid $15.6 million into CEIEC's account in Exim Bank in October 2012, the same amount which Sirisena claims to have been "misappropriated" by ALIT. Nelum Pokuna Mahinda Rajapaksa Theatre

William Paris MacLachlan

William Paris MacLachlan was a farmer and political figure in Saskatchewan. He represented Morse from 1925 to 1927 in the Legislative Assembly of Saskatchewan as a Liberal, he was born in Pakenham, Ontario near White Lake, the son of Thomas MacLachlan and Agnes Paris, was educated there. MacLachlan was married twice: first to Rachel Evans in 1910, daughter of George Evans, Ontario and to Nellie Jane MacLachlan of Restou, Manitoba in 1919 after the death of his first wife from the flu epidemic. Mr. MacLachlan had six children with his first wife, Mary Agnes, Paris James, George Evan, Jean Rachael, Margaret Wilhelmina, Isabella Elizabeth. After his father's death, Mr. MacLachlan moved West in 1905 with his Mother and siblings to established land claims in what was known as the Eyebrow Hill area before being renamed Eskbank, Saskatchewan when the Canadian National rail line was established and ran right alongside the town site. There were three grain elevators build on the rail line at Eskbank.

He served on the council for the rural municipality of Eyebrow No. 193 and was reeve from 1921 to 1924. He ran unsuccessfully for the Swift Current—Maple Creek seat in the Canadian House of Commons in 1921. MacLachlan lived in Saskatchewan, he achieved more political success in the 1925 Provincial election on behalf of the Liberal Party for the Constituency of Morse, Saskatchewan in Premier Charles Avery Dunning government for the Constituency of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Mr. Dunning joined the Federal Liberal Party with Sir Lyon McKenzie King in 1926 and was succeeded by James Garfield Gardiner as the 4th Premier of Saskatchewan in 1926. William Paris MacLachlan died at home on the farm on June 1927 while serving in office. Mr. MacLachlan was a member of Regina Consistory, Moose Jaw Scottish Rite, Eyebrow Masonic Lodge No 67. On October 16, 1968 The Province of Saskatchewan, Department of Natural Resources under Minister Eiling Kramer, designated "MacLachlan Lake" Longitude 55" 50" and Latitude 104" 23' after W.

P. MacLachlan and his dedicated service to the Province of Saskatchewan; the scroll presented to the family reads. One of his first Cousins was J. P. Bickell who shared the same middle name of "Paris", their mothers maiden name. Mr. Bickell was one of the great Canadian industrialists of his era

Luke Blakely

Luke George-Blakely is an English-born Antiguan international footballer who played for Antigua Barracuda FC in the USL Professional Division. Blakely started his youth career playing for Highfield Rangers in his hometown of Leicester, England. In 2007, he relocated to the U. S to play college soccer for Marshalltown Community College in the NJCAA. Blakely played the 2007 season with Marshalltown Community College where he helped MCC win the Iowa Conference and finish 3rd in the NJCAA national tournament. Blakely was awarded an honorable mention in the 2007 Iowa Regional team. Blakely transferred to Illinois Institute of Technology of the NAIA for the 2008 season where he helped IIT win two CCAC Conference Championships in 2008 and 2010. While captaining the side for his junior and senior year, Blakely was CCAC All-Conference honorable mention in 2008 and CCAC first team all-Conference in 2010. During his college years Blakely played for the Chicago Fire Premier in the National Premier Soccer League and Chicago Fire Premier U23 in the United States Adult Soccer Association.

In 2010 Blakely helped the Chicago Fire Premier U23 to a national championship. Blakely signed with USL Professional Division club Antigua Barracuda FC in March 2012, he made his professional debut on 6, April 2012 in the Barracudas season opening game against the Pittsburgh Riverhounds. Blakely received his first call up to the Antigua and Barbuda national football team in March 2012 and was included in the squad for a friendly against St Kitts. Blakely received his first cap on March 2012 when he started in the 1 -- 0 defeat against St Kitts. On 30, March 2012 Blakely received his second cap. Blakely was starting defensive midfielder in the Antigua and Barbuda World Cup Qualifiers squad, competed in a group with USA, Jamaica and Guatemala. Marshalltown Stats Illinois Tech bio at the Wayback Machine Antigua Barracuda bio at Archive.today Luke Blakely at National-Football-Teams.com