Wikipedia:Peer review/Dizzy (series)/archive1

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Dizzy (series)[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because it's the first article that I've worked on to such a major extent and I think that feedback could help improve both the article and my skills as an editor. Ideally, I would also like to try to get it to good article status, but that is a lower priority.

There are two particular areas of feedback I would appreciate. First, if there are any relevant policies or manual of style issues that I seem to be unaware of, then I'd love to know about them even if they are relatively minor; it's the only way I will learn. Second, before I started to work on the article, it was badly undersourced and also full of excessive unnecessary detail. In updating it, I tried to salvage as much of the existing material as I reasonably could, but found it a fairly difficult tightrope to walk. I would especially appreciate any opinions on anything that I kept that I should have cut or vice versa.

Thanks, Lowercaserho (talk) 07:16, 5 September 2018 (UTC)

comments from genericusername57[edit]

In the line

The rest of the games in the series have different gameplay that is unrelated either to the adventure games or to each other, and are connected only by branding, themes and character,

there are two grammatical issues: first, the beginning of the first clause distinguishes between a game and its gameplay, but the second half compares gameplay to games. I suppose that a quick fix would be The rest of the games in the series have different gameplay that is unrelated either to that of the adventure games..., but to me that sounds terribly clunky. How about simply The rest of the games in the series all have different gameplay from the adventure games and from...? The second grammatical issue is easier to address: in formal English writing, 'each other' is used when two things are mutually related, and 'one another' for more than two. Cheers, Genericusername57 (talk) 20:30, 13 October 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback; I've gone ahead and edited that sentence accordingly. Out of curiosity, do you happen to have any links (from Wikipedia or otherwise) that discuss the difference between each other and one another? It's not a rule I've come across before, and I'm more likely to remember it if I engage with it a bit more. If not, then it's not a problem as I can probably find something myself. Lowercaserho (talk) 14:57, 16 October 2018 (UTC)